Chef Keem's Best Recipes To Die From - Ever.

I've heard this question many times: "Chef - what's your secret ingredient?" Or: "I used the same recipe but your stuff tastes much better!" Adding: "I guess that's why you're a chef and I'm not."

Maybe so. But maybe I'm not following the "same" recipe always to the letter. To be honest, I never follow any recipe exactly how it is written. I always change something.

One of my "secrets" is the following principle: I always add a little more of the good stuff - sugar, butter, yolks, vanilla, cream, booze, etc. Not too much, though - I wouldn't want to distort the proportions.

You can't write something like that into a recipe - it's intuition, love, play, passion, cooking music - whatever you want to call it. You are in the "zone". Something deep inside of you communicates with the developing dish. It's not rational. You kind of get out of the way, let the dish take over and influence your actions - adding, stirring, folding-in, baking time, heat, seasoning, and a few other aspects. Whatever you do, you stay "connected" with the dish until it's done. (If you can't get into the "zone", just add 10-15% more of the ingredients your doctor warned you about.)

And then there is the talk about adding "love" to the food. I believe that concept to be real - caring energy transforming the molecules of the dish. It's basic metaphysics, as I understand it: everything is energy transmuted into matter by our perception. I literally "create" a great meal - with my mind as well as with my hands.

When I'm in the "zone" I project a variety of thoughts and emotions into the foods I'm preparing. There's pride in my profession, in my skills, and in my knowledge. I'm focused on doing the best that I can to cook a great-tasting meal. I want to impress the eaters with flavors and proper preparations. My goal is to satisfy their appetites, to still their hunger, and to provide them with a profound sense of well-being and comfort. I truly care about my guests.

And when I see pleasure-filled faces, and when I hear "oohs" and "mmhs" and "aahs" - I forget the hard work and the meager pay - I'm happy.

Did this answer your question?

You wanted recipes to die FROM! This is a good start.

Eat dessert first and have a triple whammy. "Tres leches" is Spanish and means "three milks". In this case we're talking about condensed milk, sour cream, and cream. You've probably had one of those anemic versions of macaroons before - light and fluffy, with whipped egg whites folded into the batter, relatively low in calories and overall a fairly healthy little cookie...not in my lens!
Only over my dead body! Fat chance! Think again!

Here is the recipe of the absolute bestseller in my pastry department, a favorite of Central Texans for the past 5 years, or so. (Haven't you noticed the increased death rates in this area of the country? Now you know why.)

Chef Keems' Original Tres Leches Coconut Macaroons

2 - 14 oz packs of sweetened coconut flakes
1 - 14 oz can of condensed milk
2 tablespoons of sour cream ("secret ingredient")
2 tablespoons of heavy cream
1 teaspoon of Mexican vanilla

Combine in mixer (paddle) or by hand with a spatula until well blended.
Use any size ice cream scoop to make half spheres on a parchment-lined baking sheet, 1 inch apart.

Bake at a moderate (325 degrees F) temperature on the middle rack in the oven, until you see dark brown tips on the top of light brown macaroons, about 10 minutes. They should be "underbaked" in the center - there's no ingredient that needs to be fully cooked.



These things are incredibly good the way they are, but if you want to go overboard - and I think you should - dip them in dark chocolate. The best way to do this is with a good-quality dipping chocolate. You will find relevant information on this and some other great chocolate ideas on my Squidoo lens "Molded Chocolates".

"Obatzda" is a favorite cheese spread - from Vienna, Austria in the East to Munich, Germany in the West. This artery-clogging specialty is often made at home and every Hausfrau has her own secret mix of ingredients. When you consume vast quantities of beer and schnaps, you need to have a solid coating of fat on your stomach lining. Who wants to get drunk from the first 2 liters, already? The trick is to keep the alcohol from entering the blood stream too quickly. And the best way to do this is with a hefty meal before you start drinking.

Here is my version of this deliciously rich and creamy concoction called "Obatzda".

8 oz Camembert or Brie, ripe
4 oz Limburger, ripe and steenky ;-)
2 oz Cream Cheese
2 oz Butter, soft
1/2 cup Onion, small dice
2 Tsp Fresh Chives, finely chopped
1 Tsp Mustard, grainy, sweet
1 tsp Paprika
Salt & Pepper to taste

Mash all ingredients with a fork and pile it on pretzels, good crusty bread or whole grain crackers.

What's commonly known as German-style potato salad - sliced taters with onions and a vinaigrette - doesn't float my boat. I want something much more substantial, rich, heavy, tasty, flavorful - in short: acid-reducer-inducing!

Let's get started with my version of this classic side dish for weenies, BBQ, sandwiches, and church picnics.

Boil 5 pounds of red potatoes until cooked but still firm; drain them and let cool a bit. Pick up each potato with a fork and peel some of the skin off with the tip of a paring knife. Store in fridge until completely cooled, then slice the potatoes thinly and place them into a large mixing bowl.

Now we make the dressing: Cut a pound of smoked bacon into small strips and fry over medium-high heat until almost crispy. Add the small dice of one medium onion to the pan and continue frying until everything is brown and crispy and beautifully caramelized. During the last 2 minutes of frying, add 1 or 2 teaspoons of fresh chopped garlic and 1/4 cup of brown sugar. Pour everything including the grease over the potato slices and stir to combine. Season with a few turns of the pepper mill.

Chop into small dice:

1 green bell pepper
1 can of peeled roasted peppers
10-15 cornichons (tiny pickles)
15-20 black olives

Coarsely chop 6 hard-boiled eggs.

Combine 2 cups dijon mustard, 4 cups mayo, 1 cup sour cream, 2 tablespoons each of prepared horseradish, chopped parsley, and capers. Season to taste with salt and freshly-ground black pepper.

Stir together all dressing ingredients and fold into the potato/bacon mixture. Cover the bowl and refrigerate overnight for flavor development.

Pork, my friends, not veal! Pork tenderloin - to be more specific. Juicy half-inch medallions of the most tender part of the pig. That's the ticket!

And don't even think about touching the ole meat tenderizer! Use your hands to gently flatten the pieces until slightly enlarged. Make it a loving touch - don't break apart the filets. The meat is already very tender.

And now comes the artistic part where you will rise above the crowd of ordinary schnitzel bangers:

Take a bit of mashed roasted garlic (or very finely-minced fresh garlic) and rub it gently into the flesh. Add a few drops of fresh lemon juice, a sprinkling of salt and pepper, a little bit of paprika, and rub some more. Massage the spices into the meat with your finger tips, as if you'd apply a soothing lotion to a burned patch of your skin.

Prepare a plate with some seasoned flour, another deeper plate or bowl with a few whisked eggs, and a third bowl with good bread crumbs. Dip the pork tenders first into the flour, then into the egg, and then into the bread crumbs. Make sure that the meat is coated all over with the breading ingredients, shaking off any excess between the stages.

Place the breaded cutlets on a platter, cover and refrigerate for about an hour, so the breading can set and solidify on the medallions.

Heat about 1 inch of oil in a pan. Test its readiness by dropping a crumb or two into the oil and watch for "foaming up". You don't want to have the cutlets sit in the oil and wait for the correct temperature. You should hear a slight sizzling sound when you add the schnitzels to the pan.

Brown the medallions on one side and then turn them over. Cook until both sides are golden brown. The tenderloin cooks fairly quickly so don't leave the job to answer the phone or to finish your annual tax return, no matter how lousy your income was. It's a crying shame to burn a schnitzel!

Schnitzels are best eaten fresh from the pan. Don't let them dry out while you say grace for 20 minutes. There's no saving grace in such action!

Serve the schnitzels with potato salad, green salad, rice - it's all good. And here's how I drive a few extra premature nails into my coffin: I drizzle a few spoons of the frying grease over my schnitzels and side dishes. Oh, my - this is so bad and so good at the same time! Especially the crispy little bits from the bottom of the frying pan...Jesus, take me!

As a young child, I spent long periods of time with my grand parents in Vienna. Granny knew how to make a substantial meal out of her wonderful sauerkraut and a couple of weenies. And she taught her daughter - my mom. The following recipe is my version of "oma's" Bohemian kraut. It goes great with smoked pork chops, sausages, ham, potato pancakes, and pork roast. I wouldn't necessarily eat it with schnitzel, but I've heard many Americans dream aloud of it. Maybe I'll try it some day...

Chef Keem's Bohemian Sauerkraut

Drain most of the liquid from a quart jar/can of sauerkraut. Set aside.

Cut one pound of bacon into small strips and fry in a medium pot until almost crispy. Add the small dice of a medium onion and fry some more, adding a teaspoon of chopped garlic during the last 2 minutes.

Now add one cup of brown sugar, stir and cook until lightly caramelized, about 2 minutes. Pour one cup of strong beef stock/boullion into the mix, add the sauerkraut, one bay leaf, 1 teaspoon of caraway seeds, 4-6 dried juniper berries, and a cup of red wine. Bring to a simmer.

Peel one large or two medium Idaho potatoes and grate them into the pot. Stir, cover, and simmer for about one hour. Keep checking so the kraut won't burn to the bottom of the pot, stirring and adding more wine/stock as necessary.

Adjust the seasoning with salt, pepper, a few drops of balsamic vinegar and 1-2 tablespoons of mustard. For color, stir in a tablespoon of ground paprika.

This is another dish that tastes best when refrigerated overnight and warmed up the next day. Actually, it keeps getting better and better, for a few days..." />

Here is a nice example of a "house specialty plate" you might find in any Bavarian "Gasthaus".

The pink slice at the bottom comes from a loaf of "Leberkaese", a Bavarian meat pate. A piece of pork roast to the right, a quarter duck on the left, a potato dumpling, sauerkraut, and a few veggies in the back, with a serving of pan juices. No pretzels needed here, but the liter mug of beer should be waiting just outside of this picture.

To support the digestive process we Bavarians usually order a shot or three of "Jaegermeister", after the meal. A little alcohol also helps to get going again after lunch. That's right - we eat big meals for lunch, and a couple of sandwiches for dinner. Doesn't it make sense?

You guessed it - we're talking chocolate here!

I love to make a rich truffle concoction and eat it by the tablespoon-full. I'm also on medication because of that habit. Never mind...

Here's what's important: Use good chocolate! The better the chocolate, the better the truffle. Don't penny-pinch on your chocolate purchase.

Cut two pounds of the best dark chocolate you can afford into small pieces. (Listen, you CAN use chocolate-chips-on-sale and still get a nice sugar rush!) Place whatever chocolate pieces into a large bowl.

In a heavy sauce pan, bring 2 cups of heavy cream and 2 tablespoons of Mexican vanilla (and maybe some Frangelico or brandy) to a boil, and then pour this over the chocolate pieces.

Begin to stir slowly for about 30 seconds, then add 2 egg yolks and a half stick of butter cut into small cubes. Keep whisking the mixture until smooth and shiny.

This is already very rich and good. Unfortunately, it's not lethal enough. Let's fold-in chunks of the incredible chocolate brownie explained below.

Now scoop some generous servings into your favorite dessert cups or bowls, and place these in the fridge to cool. Later, garnish the whole thing with whipped cream on top.



Chef Keem's Unbeatable Chocolate Brownies

Bring to a rolling boil, in a medium-size sauce pan:

1/2 pound butter
10 oz sugar
3 oz water

Take the pan off the heat and whisk-in:

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tablespoon vanilla
6 eggs

Combine one and a half cups of flour with one teaspoon of baking soda and a couple of pinches salt. Stir into the chocolate/butter mixture until smooth.

Now add 2 cups of chopped pecans or walnuts, and another 2 cups of chocolate chips. Stir quickly to distribute the chips without melting them too much. Pour this mixture onto a lightly sprayed half-sheet cookie pan and bake it at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes. A little under-baked is o.k.

Cool and cut into squares. Break into 1-inch chunks for the truffle.